Housing secretary Angela Rayner’s controversial decision to “carefully demolish” Grenfell Tower has been met with criticism by former residents and survivors who say their views were not listened to.

Rayner met bereaved families and survivors of the 2017 tragedy – in which 72 people were killed –  to talk through the proposals and says the decision to take down the tower is a “deeply personal matter” for the people affected and that she is committed to “keeping their voice at the heart of the process”.

In November last year, the housing secretary told families that she would listen to their views and consider expert information before making a decision on the future of the tower in February.

In a statement, Grenfell United said: “We’ve said this to every secretary of state for housing since the beginning: consult the bereaved and survivors meaningfully before reaching a decision on the tower.

“Angela Rayner could not give a reason for her decision to demolish the tower. She refused to confirm how many bereaved and survivors had been spoken to in the recent, short, four-week consultation.

“Judging from the room alone — the vast majority of whom were bereaved — no one supported her decision. But she claims it was based on our views.”

“Today’s meeting showed just how upset bereaved and survivors are about not having their views heard or considered in this decision. Ignoring the voices of bereaved on the future of our loved ones’ gravesite is disgraceful and unforgivable.”

However, a separate campaign group, Grenfell Next of Kin, was more sympathetic to Rayner’s approach.

In a statement, the group said: “She took a decision about something that seven Tory minister men in suits didn’t have the courage or will to face knowing the inevitable backlash.

“It is something that was always going to be sensitive and important and a milestone. But it is based on the engineering facts which cannot be sugar coated. Though it is deeply distressing.

“The disinformation in the aftermath has caused huge harm to all who are already processing this difficult ‘letting go’ and grieving process, reawakened again. So can journalists be responsible?

“They have a lot to answer for in the aftermath of the decision and sensationalising with disinformation, a situation that was very sensitive and important for the next of kin families, and the community at the foot of the tower at the heart of this.

“Criticism should be aimed at the senior civil servants who did not communicate the essential engineering information because it’s hard for them to talk about ‘risk’.

The government says that it is clear from the conversations with the local community that it remains a sacred site. It says it also clear that there is not a consensus about what should happen to it.

Rayner says that she has considered independent expert advice. Engineering advice says that the Tower is significantly damaged. It remains stable because of the measures put in place to protect it but even with installation of additional props, the condition of the building will continue to worsen over time. Engineers also advise it is not practicable to retain many of the floors of the building in place as part of a memorial that must last in perpetuity.

Taking the engineering advice into account, the housing secretary says she has concluded that it would not be fair to keep some floors of the building that are significant to some families, whilst not being able to do so for others and knowing that, for some, this would be deeply upsetting.

The government also confirmed that there will be no changes to the tower before the eighth anniversary.

In the coming months, the government says it will confirm the specialist contractor that will develop a detailed plan for taking the tower down. The work will be led by technical experts with specific health and safety responsibilities and will include a methodology that includes environmental, health and safety measures and a detailed programme of work. It will likely take around two years to sensitively complete the demolition, through a process of careful and sensitive progressive deconstruction that happens behind the wrapping.

In a statement, the government said: “We continue to support the independent Grenfell Tower Memorial Commission as the community choose a design team to work with them on designing a memorial. The Deputy Prime Minister will ensure that materials from the site, communal areas of the Tower, or parts of the Tower can be carefully removed and returned for inclusion as part of the memorial, if the community wishes.

“The department has regularly consulted the Metropolitan Police, HM Coroner and the Grenfell Tower Inquiry to ensure decisions about the site do not interfere with their important work in pursuit of justice and accountability. The Police and HM Coroner have again recently confirmed they have everything they need.

“The Deputy Prime Minister’s commitment to the community continues. She will ensure bereaved families, survivors and residents continue to have opportunities to speak with her and the Building Safety Minister on issues that matter to them most.”