By Alistair McIntosh, HQN CEO

Sebastian Milbank wants a house in London. How’s he going about that? Turns out, it’s really easy. All we have to do is boot out the council tenants. As soon as they are gone, Milbank and his chums move in. That’s what Sebastian argues in the Telegraph. Keep buying the Omaze tickets, young man!

The Tory think tank Policy Exchange called for the exact same thing back in 2012. I wrote an article at the time contrasting the snouts-in-the-trough Think Tank Tories with Real Tories. We see lots of Real Tories that are strong supporters of social housing.

In the Cameron years, Policy Exchange held sway. Their plans may have been great at an Oxbridge viva but fell apart in real life. Sebastian should ask those wonks why homes are still out of reach. They had their chance.

Of course I have sympathy for younger people who cannot afford homes. But attacking poor people isn’t the answer.

I first moved to London in the early 80s. Tower blocks were hard to let so I moved in to one. Let’s just say it had its moments. But we mostly all got along. Then New Labour came in and refurbished estates. That’s why Sebastian and his pals see these homes as desirable. A few words of gratitude for the tenants that kept going in the tough times and the cash put in by Prescott wouldn’t go amiss.

Many of the pubs that make an area “trendy” to Sebastian are only there thanks to campaigns to keep them open by tenants. Just the other night I heard one of the entitled blow-ins complain to the bar staff about waiting a nano second for a drink. “Don’t you know how much I spend here?” was the gist of it. The guy was so posh he didn’t need to Google any items on the gastro menu. Where was he when the area was more…er lively?

Sebastian needs to cast the net wider when looking for the source of his problems. What about the cost of repaying student loans? That’s a hefty bill for many.

Then there’s low pay. According to Howard Dawber, deputy mayor for business at London City Hall, “it costs half as much to employ a PhD student in London compared with San Francisco…that talent is really bringing business to London”.

To solve these problems Sebastian needs an out-of-the-box new signing. There’s only one man that can save the young professionals of London. Mick Lynch – the master negotiator – has retired from the RMT. Get on the dog and bone to him. Watch employers quake as he enters the room. There’s your answer right there. Mick Lynch in full flow will deliver a lot more than endless whining articles.

Sebastian needs to apply his big brain to the span of London’s housing problems. It’s not just about him and his ilk. Down in Peckham the planning inspector did a Pontius Pilate. He refused an application for 800 homes because it didn’t give the council sufficient affordable homes or the developer any profit. Up in Enfield a much-needed new town is in jeopardy despite the council bending over backwards to boost access to the country. Meanwhile, children die in temporary accommodation. Councils are running a rationing system with no good options.

To be fair to Sebastain there are problems with housing those on comparatively good incomes. Shared ownership was meant to help. But satisfaction is low and service charges sky high. Given the bills for insurance and operating lifts, I fear the costs will always be hard to swallow. If the government wants flats for middle earners, then it must subsidise the running costs. I don’t see that happening any time soon.

So, should Sebastian arrange a house swap with Andy Burnham? London generates a lot of tax. Let’s not kill the golden goose without a solid plan B.

Although I’m now a fully-fledged cockney I do watch Scottish TV comedies from time to time. Chewin’ the Fat pioneered Sebastian’s approach to allocations by dividing people into good guys or w…

At the bar, where tenures and jobs mix happily, the dismal cliquiness of the Telegraph holds no appeal.

As the song goes: “But I see the remnants of the London they thought they could erase.”