Did you enjoy September? I can’t remember it, truth be told, but it was quite…mild, wasn’t it?

Luckily, the despised European Union’s Copernicus project, which collates meteorological data points from across our broiling globe and beyond, has fashioned this end-of-month report, which shows that we’ve just lived through the third warmest September on record, pipped to the post as it was by 2023 and 2024’s steamier efforts.

So, that’s something for the climate sceptics to celebrate – albeit that it was only 0.27°C cooler this year. But you’ve got to take your victories where you can get ‘em, especially if you’re a lunatic.

Yes, lunacy. See here: Reform councillors are at it again, this time trying to get Darlington council to scrap its plans to attain net zero by 2040. The Labour-led local authority has rejected the demand, after the Faragist clan called the policy “virtue signalling”. Reform reckons the ‘money’ should be used to “help residents”. Helping people, the cornerstone of Reformist ideology.

But in shock news that brings together two of Reform’s greatest miseries – climate action and foreign people – annoying experts have said that urgent steps need to be taken to provide legal pathways for those displaced by this, largely avoidable, crisis.

Now, Amnesty International’s research only focuses on Pacific Islanders besieged by rising tides being given sanctuary in New Zealand. But how long before these sodden wretches find their way to the UK, concerned patriots are sure to ponder.

Ponderers like Reform’s deputy commandant, Richard Tice, he of Dubai parish, who, incidentally, this week penned a Facebook post about how rubbish shadow chancellor Mel Stride is, signing off with “This is why you should never trust a Tory”. Perhaps his long-time membership of the Conservative Party, along with frequent donations, gave him a special insight into the formulation of this remarkable revelation?

Where was I? Oh yeah. The Ticeman (there really should be a dire pop outfit called ‘N-Tice’, shouldn’t there? Or is there already?) has long made his feelings about climate change clear (“net stupid zero” he acidly calls it, truly one of the great wits of our age). However, according to this, two of the companies he heads can’t get enough of energy savings, cutting CO₂ emissions and environmental sustainability. It’s really worth a read. What these people say and what they think are in different dimensions.

Oh well. On and on it goes.

And finally, some good news. Not really. The International Union for Conservation of Nature’s latest update, released this very afternoon, warns that three species of Arctic seal have moved closer to extinction, while more than half of bird species globally are in decline – and it’s all down to good old climate change.

Sounds awful – but, then, what have seals or indeed birds ever done for the people of Darlington? Something to think about it, isn’t it.