“Tee-hee”, used to chortle the climate change sceptics, “even if human activity is warming the planet up, at least it’ll be nice and hot in old Blighty, tee-hee-hee”. Thus, the likes of Jeremy Clarkson delighted the frenzied masses.

And on it goes: during last year’s 40C+ record-breaking temperatures, simple dreamers splattered various social media hellholes with images of their sizzling, beach-set bodies, revelling in the sinister sultriness, deprecating concerned types (and, of course, the wider scientific community) as sort of joyless non-entities. And on it goes.

But, wouldn’t you know, there’s a new sting – or perhaps ‘bite’ is more appropriate – in the tail: for nasty-disease-carrying mosquitoes are coming our way, airborne on a raft of rising temperatures.

According to the UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA), the tiger mosquito, which is capable of transmitting several diabolical disorders via its dripping fangs, has already turned up in 13 countries within the European Economic Area (EEA): as if we don’t already have enough problems.

Last week, increasingly broiling Paris fumigated some areas for the first time in an attempt to frustrate the breeding efforts of local mosquitoes which carry the threat of a dengue fever outbreak.

How long before these pernicious beasts arrive on our shores? Well, they’re already here: they’ve been snared in UKHSA traps, the only good news being that they’re apparently yet to establish any colonies, which is when things get really bad.

Jolyon Medlock, chief medical entomologist at the UKHSA, said: “With climate change, as the summers warm and the seasons lengthen, every time these mosquitoes come into the country there is greater potential for them to become established.”

The UK’s warmer summers and winters are great for the tiger mosquito – and abysmal for us. But still, the joys of lazing about on a beach are no doubt worth a dose of malaria.

***

Deep-sea-oil-drilling-licence fan Rish Sunak is on the verge of announcing an end to some very restrictive legislation around new onshore wind turbines.

In an apparent effort to settle a group of fellow Tories, who have been agitating for some time on the subject, PM Sunak is expected to relent and change the rules around the air-based manufacture of energy in Britain’s long-suffering interior.

Current legislation, which dates back to the reign of Cameron the Great, dictates that proposals for new wind farms can be blocked if ONLY ONE PERSON objects – which is possibly the most Daily Telegraph rule I’ve ever heard.

Anyhow, Sir Alok Sharma, former COP26 president and leader of the disgruntled Tories, hopes to amend the 2015 rules – adjustments that would see communities keen to host turbines receive nice benefits, while making it impossible to overturn local decisions around onshore windfarms on appeal.

I can hear a million home counties’ voices cry as one: first the small boats, now this!

***

A man in Wales reckons council vehicles should switch to running on vegetable oil rather than diesel, which he says will cut carbon emissions.

But someone else has said that Colin Owens’ idea is merely a “stopgap”.

Whatever the truth, do read this interesting BBC article about it – turns out vegetable oil is more expensive than diesel.