If you don’t like ice very much, then famously ice-haunted area the Arctic could be the place for you in a few years.

For, according to researchers from the University of Colorado Boulder, the polar region could be experiencing “ice-free” summer days within the next few years – and it’s all thanks to climate change. Another triumph.

And there’s yet more ice-less news: the UN weather agency has announced a “red alert”, warning that record-breaking, and world-destroying, rises in global temperatures are leading to the wholesale thawing of cold, snowy things, like glaciers and certain continents.

No doubt thoroughly deflated by talking to deaf ears, UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres still managed to muster: “Earth’s issuing a distress call. The latest State of the Global Climate report shows a planet on the brink. Fossil fuel pollution is sending climate chaos off the charts.”

(Last year was the hottest on record by some distance, if you’re somehow still unaware.)

So, it’s looking like for bad news for polar bears, penguins etc – and then pretty much uniform bleakness for lots of other living things, particularly humans. Oh well, thank goodness for positive thinkers like Dr Laurence Fox and Professor James Delingpole, who assure us that it’s all a lot of nonsense (the latter has also suggested that hanging is “too good” for climate scientists, so there you go).

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The Climate Change Committee (CCC) that the government set up so it could largely ignore its recommendations has said that poor old Scotland is very likely to miss its 2030 climate change targets.

In a new report the CCC said: “The acceleration required in emissions reduction to meet the 2030 target is now beyond what’s credible.”

According to the CCC, annual targets for emission reductions had “repeatedly been missed”, and emissions actually rose in 2021.

Oh well, at least things are going much better in England. Well, they’re not, but there you go.

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According to this groundbreaking, breathtaking, astonishing article from Time magazine, capitalism can’t solve climate change. Stunning.

Next week, Time reveals that cheaper supermarket beer and wine deals won’t solve alcoholism. Probably.