UK gets new housing minister as Brokenshire quits

Bad news, James Brokenshire fans: he’s no longer housing minister.

The serial announcer, who was busy announcing things right up to the last few hours of Theresa May’s shambolic reign, has been replaced by Robert Jenrick MP, who is the new top dog down at the Ministry for Housing, Communities and Local Government.

Brokenshire stepped down from the role before the switch, which came as part of Boris Johnson’s cabinet reshuffle - who, as of yesterday became our latest prime minister, astoundingly.

Brokenshire had one last announcement to make, albeit in the lowest form of communication, a tweet: ‘Thank you so much and it has been a huge privilege to work alongside such an outstanding team at @mhclg. We have achieved so many positive things in the last 15 months and I have every confidence that the fantastic team will serve the new Secretary of State in the same way.’

Other new appointments to Johnson PM’s cabinet include the Dover-flummoxed Brexiteer Dominic Rabb MP as foreign secretary; forger of secret back channels to the Israeli government before-having-to-quit-over-fibbing-about-it Pritti Patel MP as home secretary; and Piers Morgan as culture minister (only joking, he’s minister for women).